Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize