I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My pussy is not your playground.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
