So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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