love makes seman taste better
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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