I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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