just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
A bitchslap is in order.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
