im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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