forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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