Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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