Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
