She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
