it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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