why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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