3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize