As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
