So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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