Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize