is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
