a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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