she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
