i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
