My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
