Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You need a sexual gate keeper
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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