We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
