at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
