I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
