Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
