i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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