I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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