I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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