I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize