I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
