she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
