Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
