Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize