I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
