Are we in a gay sports bar?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
