The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize