Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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