ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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