I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
