Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
