If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
