I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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