It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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