dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
