I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
