Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
