I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
