Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
