I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
