Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize