He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
