I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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