Im at strip club and am horny
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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