i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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