Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
